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Post by Runningfoot on Dec 9, 2006 10:57:14 GMT -5
Mega Random!!!! Now back to RP'ing critiquing
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Post by Moonstar on Jan 17, 2007 15:23:03 GMT -5
Can someone critque this? You all have permission.
*The black and white kit struggled to keep up with her father. A broad shouldered black tom, and a very dark brown she-cat. They had travel too far and long for a kit of her age. She picked up her pace a little, remembering the scratch her father had given her when she had went too slow the day before. She collapsed with exhaustion.* I’m so tired! Can’t we stop for a little while? *The kit was not a whiny cat. She couldn’t afford to be. If she complained even a little her father would claw her, or worse. She grimaced, remembering the scars he’d been known to give her, but was too tired to care about the risk she was taking. The black tom turned, his amber eyes blazing.* Why you lazy crowfood! I’ll teach you to complain! *The kit flinched as her father stepped toward her, claws unsheathed. Fortunately, Slayer, her mother stepped in front of her, hackles raised.* Mousebrain! If you hurt it too much it won’t be a good BloodClan warrior. Come on, Lost! *The kit, Lost, felt like crying. It was one of the rare occasion she was called by her name, but what she really heard was the word ‘it’. That’s how she was treated. Not Lost, not a cat, not a she, but an ‘it’. Grunting, but knowing his wife was right, the black tom gripped Lost by the scruff of her neck, though he seemed to bite down as hard as possible. She knew better than to complain about that. He’d probably kill her. Anyone who saw the black and white kit might think she had joined StarClan, she was so limp and tired. And in pain. Her father was crazy, and bloodthirsty. You live this life because of Moonclaw! She thought. Lost had heard how heard about her father was driven from one of these mysterious Clans by a cat named Moonclaw. So he had trained Lost to be a warrior…in an abusive way when she was only three moons old. After what seemed like an eternity, Slayer said,* BloodClan! Come on, Ravenpelt! *Lost’s father dropped her and ran off. The kit stumbled after them, not the least bit excited about their new home.*
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Post by Runningfoot on Jan 17, 2007 15:41:07 GMT -5
Very intresting, i don't know what i can say to RP critic! You should post Lost's life in the story section, and put her whole life there!
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Post by Moonstar on Jan 17, 2007 15:50:41 GMT -5
Yes, maybe I will. Yeah, that's a tidbit of Lostshadow's life.
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Post by Runningfoot on Jan 17, 2007 16:20:47 GMT -5
yep!Anyone ese brave enough to try their hand at RP'ing?
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Post by Moonstar on Mar 10, 2007 21:39:00 GMT -5
Me! Again, anyone can judge it:
*The blue-gray she-cat's fur tingled with excitement. Her first real patrol! Eagerly, Waterpaw walked beside Batwing, her mentor. It was calm and quiet, and the forest seemed empty and without a threat. Suddenly a new scent reached her nostrils.* Rouge cats! *Her mentor hissed her thoughts. As he dropped into a crouch she did the same. Suddenly, the black and brown tom relaxed. Puzzled, Waterpaw pulled herself up. Then, she saw a thin black tom skulking along. Ravenpelt!* Batwing! It's the traitor! *The silvery cat whispered. The warrior seemed to ignore her then said,* Follow me. *The black tom with brown chest and legs slunk off, Waterpaw following with a smile. Of course Batwing would take action. He led her to the river. She looked at in, and suddenly was pushed in. Batwing smashed the side of her face into the bank, barely keeping her muzzle above water.* Listen, be silent and have complete alliance to me, and you'll live another day. Refuse, and Ravenpelt drowned you. What's your desicision? *The apprentice's eyes widened with shock and fear.* I won't tell anyone and I'll be loyal to you. *To her relief Batwing pulled her out.* Never, ever cross me. *He growled and slunk off. Trembling, Waterpaw followed.*
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Post by Runningfoot on Mar 11, 2007 18:10:28 GMT -5
cool
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Post by Moonstar on May 19, 2007 9:52:39 GMT -5
*A light brown she-cat stalked a mouse, one one of her first patrol as a warrior. Warrior! She still got the thrill from being made one half-a-moon after her ceremony. Morningcloud pounced on the mouse. With the scent of the mouse blocking everything, and still thinking about being a warrior, the tabby she-cat didn't notice a shadow looming nearby. Then the awful scent enter her nostrils. Twolegs! She spun around, hackles rising. Fortunately it was just a kit. The Twoleg kit squealed a bit, but ran toward the den making eager noises. Morningcloud buried the mouse quickly and ran off blindly. The kit had reurned with an adult Twoleg. Morningcloud, in her blind run, dashed into a thicket. She struggled, and yowled, but the only ones close enough to come to her aid were the Twolegs. The adult freed her, and picked her up, trying to ignore Morningcloud's yowling and scratches. Suddenly, an answering battle yowl responded. Stormstar! The gray tom came with Swiftfoot, his deputy, and some other warriors and apprentices. The sunhigh patrol had heard her! The Twolegs were already a ways off though, and the warriors were losing them.* ThunderClan, to me! I shall escape and come back someday! By StarClan I swear!
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Post by Runningfoot on May 19, 2007 13:23:24 GMT -5
neato!
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Post by Moonstar on May 29, 2007 21:24:20 GMT -5
Thank ya!
Rosepelt! Wavestar! Where are you? *The young black tom, Moonpaw, wailed. Rats had attacked Rosepelt, his mentor, Wavestar, his leader, and himself on his apprentice trip to the Highstones, separating the three. Now he was hopelessly lost in an unknown land! He parted his jaws wide in an attempt to scent them, but he didn't smell their comforting scent. Instead, there was the bitter, foul stench of rogues. The apprentice prepared to run, but remembered one of Rosepelt's expressions: 'A warrior stands and fights.' Surely not alone though! He thought mentally.* Rosepelt! *He called again. In answer, two tabby cats appeared and surrounded him somewhat so it would be hard to run.* Lost, sonny? We'll help ya! *One said, a malicious grin creeping across his face. His friend snickered. The RiverClan apprentice spat in contempt. He wouldn't let those crowfood lay one claw on him! Angrily, he swiped a claw at the first rogue's muzzle. It hissed in rage, and instantly the two were on him. Moonpaw felt like he was being torn to pieces, and probably was. Just as he thought he was doomed, there was a loud snarl. The two scrawny rogues were knocked off him, and a golden tabby stood snarling.* You've gotten to close to my barn! *It growled.* Go 'way! *The newcomer was lean with muscles rippling under his yellow tabby pelt, and his gleaming white teeth were razor sharp. Cringing, the two rogues ran off. Moonpaw felt himself being dragged off. He gave a feeble struggle, but a welcoming blackness took over soon.*
Be still...those two got you pretty badly. *A voice murmured. The golden tabby was licking his wounds gently.* Hi, I'm Duke. You are? *The loner said when he saw Moonpaw awake.* I am Moonpaw of RiverClan. *Duke snorted a little.* Weird name. Nice enough, though. *His tail twitched eagerly.* I've heard of the Clans! Tell me more! *Moonpaw was hardly in the mood to tell a loner about his Clan. To him, loners were a lot like kittypets, but this was a friendly one, and the RiverClan apprentice owed his life to him. Afterward, Duke declared,* I'm Dukepaw, now! Wait, Dukestar! *Moonpaw laughed lightly. Then a new welcoming scent entered his nostrils. Wavestar and Rosepelt!* Thank you, 'Dukestar'! I hope to see you again, and I'll see to it RiverClan knows you're a friend!
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Post by Runningfoot on May 30, 2007 5:26:14 GMT -5
good, keep the description going!
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Post by Moonstar on May 30, 2007 17:24:39 GMT -5
Thank ya! Gosh, I'm running out of history moments...
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Post by Runningfoot on May 30, 2007 20:28:24 GMT -5
lol
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Post by Moonstar on May 30, 2007 20:34:29 GMT -5
I'll find something. I feel like making a new character...if I can think of a good one. Ah *lightning buld appears overhead and trudges off to the joining board, muttering*
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Post by Runningfoot on May 31, 2007 17:02:05 GMT -5
god's thumbs! Moonstar would grumble even with the breeze! lol
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