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Post by Moonstar on Jul 30, 2007 22:12:15 GMT -5
Minions! Are you all here? Good.
Anyway. I have on this thread I story I want to publish someday. Someday=a million years.On another thread I have another story I want to publish someday. Anywho, I feel like posting 'em. Feedback is appreciated and please, please, please, please, please, please, don't pressure me to post the next chapter. If I'm pressured I'll rush to finish the chapter and it won't be as good. Toms and She-cats, I present the Bronze Knight!
The Bronze Knight By [insert IRL name here]
Prologue
Sad-sounding flute music was being played and drums were beaten. Around the castle in the Shifter land of Bel, two panthers patrolled, and two large eagles circled overhead. Those four were the top soldiers of Emperor Vivek, the Shifter ruler. The top soldiers of Emperor Vivek, who lay dying in his room. All the creatures were sad and heartbroken as they stayed in animal form for the ceremony. The emperor had been mortally wounded in battle as a Shifter in animal form, so his people stayed in their favorite fighting form, save the bishops who played the music in their human form, or the priestess, who in a peaceful form, guided the dying Shifter to the afterlife. One Shifter did not show sadness. He sat in the form of a cheetah in the emperor’s room, watching him die with an expressionless face. He was Hajari, Vivek’s son and heir to the throne. The emperor was in the form of a large snake, coiled on his bed. A nightingale flew above him, singing the sweet, sad song of death. The cheetah opened his mouth to speak, but the nightingale silenced him with a stern look. None could speak until the ruler died. Why won’t you die? He growled silently. Vivek lifted his head, looked at his son with pure terror, took on the shape of a human, and died. The priestess esteemed her human form and let out a long blast on a ram’s horn. Emperor Vivek was slain! Hajari changed into a human, and kissed his father’s forehead in goodbye. However, afterward, he snarled, “Finally!” The priestess shot him a rebuking glance. “Milord, you must respect your deceased father. He was our emperor.” She reminded him. Hajari shrugged his shoulders. “Was. He was our ruler. I am now emperor of Bel, Mahari!” He spat. “Not until he’s buried, sire.” Mahari remembered. Hajari turned red and looked like he would lash out or argue, but he just nodded. “Let’s get on with it then.” Hajari replied. Sighing, Mahari lifted Vivek’s body. She too, was his kin, and Hajari’s brother. Now, however, she wished Hajari wasn’t her brother. Mahari doubted Hajari’s compassion and mercy, and she didn’t want to be judged for who her brother was.
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Post by Runningfoot on Jul 31, 2007 15:15:11 GMT -5
nice
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Post by Phoenixstar on Aug 2, 2007 11:21:25 GMT -5
kool, You should really write and publish a story MoonStar!!!!!!
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Post by Moonstar on Aug 2, 2007 13:30:53 GMT -5
That's what I'm trying to do with this and A Coming Darkness. Actually a series and a trilogy. Risen Warrior (A Coming Darkness Series) Book 1: A Coming Darkness 2. The Burning Blood 3. The Looming Shadow The rest of the books are untitled.
And for this: 1. The Bronze Knight 2. The Silver Knight 3. The Golden Knight (is it just me or do I see a pattern here? XD)
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Post by Phoenixstar on Aug 2, 2007 19:28:51 GMT -5
Rofl! Get started! I would tottaly buy! You would be a J.K.R.!
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Post by Moonstar on Aug 2, 2007 21:29:45 GMT -5
Too popular for me. I want to be able to go out without be chased by fanboys. Particularily when I'm already married. *Points to Stormfur* However, I like the idea of someday people writing fan-fiction. ^.^ As long as they didn't disgrace my stories.
Yeah, but I'm looking forward to when I start The Burning Blood and The Silver Knight. Oh, and I didn't think up the titles A Coming Darkness, The Burning Blood, and The Looming Shadow. My brother 'Varkum' did. I owe him alot for the help he gave me in the Risen Warrior. He created most of my villains, one of them being Count GUstof!
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Post by Runningfoot on Aug 3, 2007 11:49:02 GMT -5
cool
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Post by Moonstar on Sept 9, 2007 20:12:49 GMT -5
Yep, Bronze Knight however is ALL from my own imagination. I've worked some on Ch. One. (Hey, that rhymes.)
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Post by Runningfoot on Sept 10, 2007 18:13:38 GMT -5
cool!
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Post by Moonstar on Sept 10, 2007 19:03:38 GMT -5
It's not finished, only about half-way done, but I'll post what I have done.
Chapter One
Far away from the forest and kingdom of Bel, there was a legendary place of honor and glory. It was the smallest of three groups of knights founded by Sir Gideon the Supreme, but still honored by those who were not a knight, squire, or page in it, and the knights, squires, and pages were proud to be part of it. To be part of the Order of the Bronze Knights. It esteemed the Silver and the even more legendary Gold Knights, and all the Bronze Knights strived to be the greatest knights they could, in case there was the rare occasion they could become a Silver Knight. It had been centuries since there had been a Silver Knight from the Bronze Knight Order. And there had been only one time a Bronze Knight became a Gold Knight: Sir Yorick, a poor farmer, was the only one who had, but that was even more centuries ago. Five lords or ladies governed each order. The five lords were Sir Peter the Strong, Dame Valentine the Gentle, Sir Cedric the Merciful, Sir Neil the Silent, and the head of all the knights, Lord Bryan the Brave. Lord Bryan was the noblest of all the knights in the Bronze Order, and had nice family. His wife, Lady Freya, was a kind soul, caring and motherly to all the children. His son, a seventeen year old squire named Jacob, was an excellent fighter already, though he wasn't as good in learning the values of a Bronze Knight. Still, he was very brave and bold. Jacob was a tall, sinewy boy. He had thick, though not long, dark chocolate brown hair, and gray eyes that always shone. His skin was sun-tanned as well as strong and leathery. And to him, life in the Order seemed perfect.
“Wake up, lazy bones!” A voice demanded in Jacob’s ear. The young squire woke with a start, and found a fair-skinned girl staring down at him, her gleaming white teeth visible in a wide grin. Jacob suppressed a yell even though he knew it was his best friend Kayla. Her way of waking people up were just as bad as putting a mouse in their beds. “Kayla! Get off me!” He growled, giving her a light shove. She tut-tutted and said in a deep voice, “Come on, get going. You disgrace, you’ll never become a Bronze Knight this way. Honestly, if I’ve ever had to deal with such lazy squires ever before…” Jacob interrupted by speaking in a raspy voice. “Quiet! Silence is golden. Speak little, listen much.” He whispered. “And respect your elders.” A deep voice rumbled. Jacob jumped out of bed and stood in salute. “Lord Bryan!” Kayla said in response, curtseying. The knight looked sternly down at them. “Well, it’s good to see you show proper respect to some people.” Despite his solemn face, Bryan’s gray eyes Jacob had inherited twinkled with amusement. But shortly later they grew sober again. “Would you to speak like that if Sir Peter and Sir Neil were here?” They shook their heads and murmured, “No.” “Except in the case of a battle strategy, you shouldn’t say anything you wouldn’t want anyone else to hear. You can spend the day tending to the armor and weaponry.” Lord Bryan decreed. The two squires exchanged glances. Tending to the armor and weapons was pretty boring, and it obviously wasn’t nearly as exciting as practicing fencing, jousting, or hunting. Even learning to be a proper knight in spirit was more interesting than spending the day taking care of armor and weapons. “Come now, milord. They’re young; don’t you think your telling-off was enough?” Asked a Knight dressed in a green tunic with bronze sword emblazed on it. Jacob felt some hope. Sir Cedric was very kind and hated punishing young squires. “And don’t you remember someone always imitating Dame Floria, may she rest in peace?” Lord Bryan flushed slightly, but replied, “I got in trouble for that when I was young.” Lord Bryan pointed out. Jacob’s hope melted like ice at those words. Even Sir Cedric would be able to get them out of their punishment now. “Now, off with you.” Bryan ordered. The two squires nodded and slunk off.
Jacob sat rubbing a steel sword with a clean rag, an expression of dull boredom on his face. Nearby, Kayla was cleaning a shield with the Bronze Knight crest on it: a bronze sword. It was never-ending, tedious work. Normally they’d be able to talk to pass the time, but the older squire supervising was Victor. Victor was twenty years old, therefore very close to becoming a Bronze Knight. He had neat, long black hair, and cold eyes of the same color. He was tall, strong, fast, brave, and intelligent. And, according to Kayla, he had the personality of a rabid dragon. Yet he had lots of friends, obviously due to his skills as a squire, because Jacob and Kayla could see no other way he’d get friends. “Ow!” Jacob suddenly protested. Victor had slapped across the back of the head. At the younger squire’s exclamation, Victor slapped him again. “You need to learn to suffer pain silently. And you aren’t done with that sword.” Victor insisted. Jacob looked at the steel sword he had just hung back on the wall. It was shining brightly, and he couldn’t see anything wrong with it. “Yes I am…ow!” Again Victor’s hand flew. “Don’t you dare show cheek to me. Honestly, like father like son. I heard Lord Bryan was always getting in trouble, talking back to his elders…” Jacob grabbed the steel sword viciously and pointed it at the older squire, hardly aware of what he was doing. No one, no one talked about his father like that. His father was the greatest knight imaginable, and no one could deny that, especially that cocky jerk of a squire! Calmly, Victor took a sword from the wall. He crossed swords with Jacob, his black eyes dull with disdain. “Are you threatening me? How foolish. You obviously don’t know what you’re going up against.” Victor said, sounding bored and scornful. Jacob sighed and dropped his sword. Victor hung the two back up on the wall, and slapped Jacob again. “I won’t report you for that, because I’m in a good mood.” Victor spat. “And because I’d tell them what you said about Lord Bryan.” Jacob muttered to himself. But Victor apparently heard him, because he grabbed Jacob by the back of his white tunic and pulled him to his feet. Their eyes met, both of them smoldering with hate. Then Victor punched him hard in the face. Jacob staggered back a few paces, but then rushed forward and aimed a hard blow to the side of the older squire’s head. Victor’s face twisted into a grimace of pain, but he punched Jacob in the stomach, making him double over. Gasping for breath, Jacob kicked the older squire in the shin. Regaining his composure, he kicked out the other leg, unbalancing Victor and knocking him to the ground. The two were now just tussling on the ground like two wild animals, punching and kicking. “Nobody says anything about my father!” “Of course, we can’t have your father look bad. That would keep you from being the little golden boy!” The two continued to fight and yell, when a dagger whirled right past them. “Enough!” A new voice roared. Jacob and Victor looked up from their fight to see Lord Bryan, his eyes smoldering with anger and disappointment, most of it directed at his son. Victor threw Jacob off him, a slightly smug expression on his face. Jacob could tell he was in bigger trouble than Victor. “Victor, you’ll help Kayla finish up in here. Jacob, you’ll come with me.” Bryan said, obvious struggling to keep his voice level. Victor flashed Jacob one of his signature cold smiles. Kayla stared at her friend with a worried expression, her green eyes round and huge. Wordlessly, Jacob followed his father out of the armory, his heart beating like a drum.
*menacing growl* Anyone who dislikes Victor will have to answer to me...J/K. XD I know he's not a very likable character, I know Victor's part in the whole trilogy, so I find it easier to like him.
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Post by Moonstar on Sept 10, 2007 19:05:39 GMT -5
Argh! Sorry for the double post, but it's supposed to be "co.cky jerk of a squire." I might removed co.ck from the list...If it's misused I could always edit/delete the post.
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Post by Runningfoot on Sept 12, 2007 14:35:12 GMT -5
all right
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Post by Runningfoot on Dec 24, 2007 15:43:17 GMT -5
bump
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