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Post by Moonstar on Jan 12, 2007 15:21:27 GMT -5
Well...you'll find out. Later. Muhahhahahahahahaha!
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Post by Runningfoot on Jan 12, 2007 16:03:10 GMT -5
okay. *dissapointed look.*
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Post by Moonstar on Jan 13, 2007 12:00:57 GMT -5
But, I'll be nice and give you a list of errors I made in the book.
1. I made a typo, so that when Shadowstar was leaving the Gathering, he was agonized by Moonstar's words of 'You ate no longer my friend." You ate no longer my friend? 2. Instead of putting Swiftstar's saying 'Well, let's go!" I put "Well, let's go/" 3. It seems as though Moonstar has some favortism going on. He hasn't said anything to WindClan about Sunpaw. I say he's just insane with rage agaisnt ShadowClan his mind is mostly focused on not having any relationship with them. 4. Ash is so smug about Slink telling Feather BloodClan wasn't a real Clan. But if you read the Prologue carefully, you'll notice Feather was arguing with Mugs!
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Post by Runningfoot on Jan 13, 2007 17:36:35 GMT -5
I see. Hey,, Does that mean in the story, Moonstar dosnt like Sunpaw as much as the others?
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Moonstar logged out
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Post by Moonstar logged out on Jan 13, 2007 23:01:35 GMT -5
No, I just realized he seems most upset that Flamekit/paw's in ShadowClan, but I still says he's just angry at ShadowClan. And insane. Muhahahahaha! He doesn't really have as big a quarrel with WindClan, they're more of an irritation than anything else right now in the story. But it's still weird...well, I'll make him more annoyed later.
Another error: I accidently stole the name Smudge from the books.
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Post by Runningfoot on Jan 14, 2007 14:16:17 GMT -5
okay, whew!safe!
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Post by Moonstar on Jan 14, 2007 22:05:55 GMT -5
Not as good, but I'll make up for it in the end.
Chapter Six The Wind and the River Birchstripe and her apprentice, Duskwind protested that Moonstar wasn’t battle worthy, but he ignored them and led a patrol into WindClan territory. He needed to beat the allies of ShadowClan. No cat could ever understand how agonizing his life was. The only natural death which had ever mattered to him was that of his mother, Vinetail. His leader Wavestar had been betrayed and murdered. His mate Birchclaw died when his kits were very young. When he had kits with Gingerfur later, half of them he let join other Clans. He had been betrayed and his father, Skyflight, murdered. The daughter of the cat he despised the most and his apprentice betray him, even though they reformed later. And now he was fighting against one of his closest friends, and Moonstar hated himself for being too stubborn to admit it wasn’t Shadowstar’s fault. There were few times when Moonstar truly felt happy and at peace. Most of his life was agony. “Peace, StarClan,” Moonstar murmured. “That’s all I ask. Peace and happiness.”
Silverleaf, deputy of WindClan, sniffed the air. Something wasn’t right. Something was wrong. There was a scent there which shouldn’t be there. It was…RiverClan. The gray cat ran back to WindClan territory, and burst into Phoenixstar’s den. “Phoenixstar! RiverClan! I think they’re attacking.” Phoenixstar sprang to her feet. “Prepare the warriors! Make sure the kits, queens, and elders stay sheltered. Find Smokefur and tell her to get out her herbs, she’ll need them.” Silverleaf nodded, and ran off.
RiverClan were met by WindClan, but they were prepared. Wavetail was pounced on by Rainfeather, a RiverClan warrior and son of Moonstar. She knew Rainfeather was sharing Moonstar’s feelings, and was willing to kill. “Please…I’m just serving my Clan!” Rainfeather curled his lip. “So am I!” Wavetail winced, thinking it was over. Suddenly, she was free, and Rainfeather was locked in a tussle with a very dark brown cat. Could it be? Wavetail’s heart soared, though she knew it was false hope. But the scent was correct! The black RiverClan tom struggled away and ran off to join the battle against another cat. The cat who had saved her life turned to face her. She was certain of it. “Weavepaw! Oh, Weavepaw!” That cats had betrayed WindClan and gone rogue, but they had loved each other very much. “Wavepaw, or is it Wavetail?” He licked her softly, and stared into her amber eyes, as if slightly hurt by her surprise. “Don’t you remember what I told you?” She nodded. “How could I forget?” She remembered it vividly. He and the warrior Quickfoot (then known as Quickpaw) were glaring at each other, but Weavepaw still comforted Wavetail (then Wavepaw). He fled from the Clan he betrayed, calling, “I will see you again, Wavepaw. I love you.” The silver she-cat licked him gently. He buried his nose in her flank. “I’m so glad you’ve returned.” Weavepaw looked away from her. “I’m just visiting you. I can never return to WindClan. In my heart I’m a rouge.” Wavetail looked sad, but said nothing. Quickfoot ran over. “Wavetail! I heard about the RiverClan warrior and…what in the name of StarClan is he doing here?” The WindClan warrior screeched. Anger burned his eyes an…jealousy? Was Quickfoot in love with her? She had never known. “No! Don’t even think about it!” A dark tabby pinned Quickfoot, teeth pulled back. It was Icefur. He had been the ringleader of betraying the Clans once, Weavepaw had been part of his group. A scarred black and white she-cat appeared also. It was his mate, Lostshadow. She was the daughter of the traitor Ravenpelt, and BloodClan deputy Slayer. She had proved herself loyal, but was often mistrusted because her roots, and helped Icefur betray the Clans. “Icepaw! Lostpaw! What are you doing here?” Weavepaw asked. “Icefur and Lostshadow.” The she-cat corrected. “We were allowed to stay, and we chose to.” She bared her teeth at Quickfoot. He shuddered. These were loyal cats, but also violent. “Wavetail!” The she-cat was too shocked to even try to rescue the dark gray warrior. Desperately he stared at Weavepaw. “Don’t let them kill me!” Weavepaw stared at the scene. His enemy could be killed, but it would prove him even more disloyal. But otherwise he had to attack his friends. Weavepaw drooped his tail and turned. “Please!” No answer. Suddenly Weavepaw felt claws rake his side. “Tallstar?” A black and white cat stood beside him, glaring. Again he scratched his side. “Save your Clanmate!” Weavepaw shook his head. “I’m no longer a WindClan cat.” Tallstar sighed. “Sorry. I should not have done this. Do what you find right.” Suddenly Weavepaw whirled around and knocked Icefur off Quickfoot. “Don’t touch my Clan.”
Duskwind, the dark gray medicine cat apprentice stared at the battle. His blue eyes burned as he watched his Clanmates suffer. “I want to go in there.” “What was that?” “Nothing!” He hadn’t know he had spoken allowed. Meanwhile, Birchstripe’s eyes locked with Smokefur’s. They saw the wind and river combine, and a voice whispered, “The Clans shall ally against death. Do not trust anyone, for there is a traitor in each Clan.” Suddenly their gaze broke. “Duskwind! I just had a prophecy!” Duskwind nodded absent-mindedly. He had other issues to deal with. Like wondering if his war-like ways would hold him back from being a medicine cat.
There had been some losses, but WindClan was victorious. “Thank you, Weavepaw.” Phoenixstar said slowly. “Will you be staying?” The dark brown cat’s hackles rose. “No! I won’t stay with the weakest of Clans!” He ran off. Wavetail stared after him. Phoenixstar pressed her nose gently against her side. “Don’t be too disappointed. I didn’t think he’d listen myself.” Wavetail nodded, but still felt sad. She felt a pair of amber eyes staring at her. It was Quickfoot. She approached him. “I’m sorry, Quickfoot. I know how you feel. But I don’t feel the same. You’re an awesome cat, but I just love Weavepaw.” Pain flashed through the tom’s eyes, as if he never fully though he’d be turned down. But he nodded graciously. “I understand.” Wavetail sighed. It seemed she would never be with the cat she truly loved.
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Post by Runningfoot on Jan 15, 2007 9:48:57 GMT -5
wow. that was good. the shark is very far off! Weavepaw is great! and and Wavepaw has-no, had another admirer, but she didnt want! cool! what chapter will Rouge show up in again?
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Post by Moonstar on Jan 15, 2007 11:26:36 GMT -5
Right not I'm debating whether he'll be in the end 'Thunder and Shadows' (the next chapter) or the beginning of the chapter after that.
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Post by Runningfoot on Jan 15, 2007 13:55:11 GMT -5
i don't mind, either one you choose!
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Post by Moonstar on Jan 17, 2007 19:36:27 GMT -5
Rogue has a very small part in this, but he's in it. The next chapter is probably the one with DeathClan. Muhahahahahahahahahaha!
Chapter Seven Thunder and Shadows The dark gray she-cat stood on the boggy ground, staring at the Thunderpath, barely visible in the bushes. She curled her lip. The ShadowClan terrain disgusted her. The sooner it was gone the better. Slink liked her, at least she assumed he did. She could suggest the lower ranked cats could live in that territory. And by then she’d be second-in-command. She’d send her foolish siblings to ShadowClan territory when DeathClan ruled. A dark gray tom carefully crossed the Thunderpath. Graypaw, one of her ‘foolish siblings’. The ShadowClan apprentice greeted Graypaw with a nod and slunk off. He followed. They went through the foul Carrionplace, then through a small stream, then a patch of brambles. “Ow! Feather, why can’t we just go an easier way?” Graypaw whined. She ignored him, but soon through some bushes the ShadowClan camp was visible. “Follow this route, it makes you harder to track,” Feather ordered. “If Swiftstar asks, say you found this route before you joined ThunderClan.”
Swiftstar cautiously sniffed the air. The ShadowClan scent was strong, but there was no trap. He ran off back to where his warriors were waiting. “Graypaw’s right. The route is quite safe. I know this is an attack, but don’t try to kill. Just send them the message that ThunderClan will fight back. And no attacking queens, kits, or elders” All the cats nodded. Except Graypaw. Not noticing this, Swiftstar led his warriors into ShadowClan camp, where the cats slept, unaware of the massacre about to take place.
“I think it’s a trap! Most of the warriors will probably be dead when Swiftstar returns…if he returns at all!” Irispaw growled. Firepaw sighed. This wasn’t the kit he had grown up with. The death of her mentor had changed her, and added something which had never been in her before…hate. “Calm down. I’m sure it’s not a trap. And if it is, I bet it’s something Swiftstar can get out of.” The black she-cat nodded, not completely convinced. She stepped out of the apprentice den and stared at the sky. The stars moved. She blinked in disbelief. No, stars didn’t move that fast. “Irispaw. Turn around.” The apprentice turned in surprise. “Cedartail!” She yowled happily. Immediately she touched noses with her mentor. “Greetings, Irispaw. I have to talk to you. Yes, Graypaw is a traitor, he killed me with help from Dustpaw of WindClan, but don’t worry. His day of reckoning will come before he does much harm. Don’t do anything about it now.” “But he killed you!” Irispaw wailed. Her mentor had come from StarClan to tell her she couldn’t avenge him? It was so cruel! “I know. But you can’t do anything for revenge now. We have little time. I need you to carry a message to Dustpaw.” Cedartail replied. “Of WindClan? What do you want with him?” She growled. The StarClan cat ignored her. “This is StarClan’s message: ‘In each Clan kin’s blood will spill and only one will survive.’” Irispaw repeated the message silently. “So…four cats who are kin, yet in a different Clan, will all die except one. That’s so sad!” “You’re right about the meaning. But the death isn’t that sad. I must go.” “No, wait!” The apprentice wailed, but he was gone.
Shadowstar darted out of his den. ThunderClan! The ShadowClan leader released a loud battle yowl. In nearly second Shortfoot was at his side. “How’d they get to camp so easily?” The ShadowClan deputy asked. Shadowstar shrugged as ShadowClan awoke. “I don’t know. But I know one thing,” Shadowstar’s black eyes blazed. “I don’t care what anyone says. They’d need a ShadowClan cat’s help for this!” Shortfoot gasped. “You think there’s a traitor?” He asked, though he knew the answer. The silver tom didn’t reply, just launched himself at a ThunderClan warrior. Shortfoot was about to attack one warrior, until he noticed the tabby pelt, green eyes, and broad shoulders. Tigerstripe. He could never hurt that cat. Berrytail had been his apprentice, and he could never harm the cat she loved. Ever. Quickly he whirled around and pounced on a grayish-white cat named Snowfur. “Get…off…our…territory!” He snarled. The cat struggled away, and attack Shortfoot, locking the two in a whirling tussle. Berrytail ran over to help her mentor, but the apprentice Graypaw launched himself at her. He was willing to break Swiftstar’s order not to kill. Another dark gray apprentice joined him. “Morningpaw?” The tortoiseshell she-cat gasped. “What are you doing?” The ShadowClan apprentice didn’t respond, just watched as Graypaw helped pin her. “Ready, Feather?” Graypaw asked. “Of course.” She replied, and prepared to make a killing move…when they were interrupted by a battle yowl. Sharp claws hit Morningpaw’s side full force. She tumbled back. Tigerstripe jerked Graypaw off his mate and threw him. Morningpaw pulled herself to her feet, while Graypaw (the weaker one, Feather thought) sat dazed for few seconds. “Traitor!” The dark gray she-cat snarled. “She’s your enemy!” Tigerstripe looked at her coldly. “Traitor? You speak for yourself.”
“What? No it can’t be!” Dustpaw stared at the ThunderClan she-cat on the border between ThunderClan and WindClan in disbelief. “You’re sure it wasn’t just a dream? Cedartail isn’t just looking for revenge? You’re not looking for revenge?” Irispaw blinked in surprise. Why was Dustpaw so upset? And also, why did he have to know? “No, I’m not looking for revenge. Cedartail told me not to try to get revenge with Graypaw even.” Tears slipped down the tom’s face. “StarClan, I’m sorry. Why are you doing this to me? Just don’t let it be Feather. Please don’t let it be Feather!” Dustpaw lifted his head high. “I can’t do much, because I’ve been raised a coward. But I will do one thing. I won’t betray my Clan!” Dustpaw shouted. “Slink, I’m am your ally no more!”
“Why should I take your word?” Shadowstar growled as he stared challengingly at Tigerstripe. Berrytail fur bristled in protest. “But I told you also!” Shadowstar sighed. “It’s only natural to side with your mate. That’s why I can’t believe it.” Tigerstripe sighed and pushed his nose into her flank. “Get some rest. See Amberfur.” The ThunderClan cat walked off, hoping no one had seen too much of what had happened one cat certainly had: his best friend, Silverstripe. The gray and black tabby shook his head. He joined his friend in battle, saying, “You’ve done some pretty dumb things, but I haven’t officially deemed you a mouse-brain. Now, you leave me with no choice.” Tigerstripe couldn’t help but grin. He turned promptly to defend a move by Sageleaf, a dangerous ShadowClan warrior. The pale ginger tabby bared her teeth defiantly as blood trickled down her cheek. “You’ll have to do better than that…after all, we need ThunderClan to have strong warriors so our queens have strong kits!” That did it. Tigerstripe sank his teeth into Sageleaf’s neck. The she-cat struggled as blood flowed freely. Silverstripe pulled him away, as did Squirrelfur who had seen Tigerstripe and Sageleaf. “She insulted me! I couldn’t help it!” He protested, trying to pull away. “Learn to!” Silverstripe snapped. Tigerstripe glowed at his friend. Learn to be punished for the same thing for the rest of your life!”
Rogue darted forward, vision blurred with exhaustion. He stopped only when he fainted, drank and hunted only when he was nearly dead. Otherwise he’d have to just carry on. The Clans depended on him.
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Post by Runningfoot on Jan 17, 2007 21:03:01 GMT -5
awesome!
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Post by Moonstar on Jan 18, 2007 19:16:10 GMT -5
Thank you, hold your applause. XD I'm so arrogant.
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Post by Runningfoot on Jan 19, 2007 16:15:20 GMT -5
applauds. Great! Sharkie is out of sight!
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Post by Moonstar on Jan 19, 2007 16:20:22 GMT -5
Working on Ch. 8. Rogue will be in it with a more major part, and lots of characters not mentioned will be introduced.
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